“We found Specimen No. 33 at the site of what we assume was an impromptu autopsy table, which was also a cheap particleboard bookshelf with a Brazilian Cherry laminate.
This specimen was quite unceremoniously nailed down by three of its tentacles, and appeared to have been readied for a lobotomy. We’re not certain, as the autopsy is incomplete.
We removed a chunk of the bookshelf together with the specimen, because it was an unattractive bookshelf and we didn’t want to pull the nails out.”
